Wednesday 7 December 2011

Shameless Self -Promotion

        "I just wanted you to know..."
                                -Billy Joel

          I am, most emphatically, NOT a Christmas person.
          I don't like shopping.
          I don't like the mall.
          I don't like the crowds,
          Or  the carols,
          Or the lack of parking,
          No, not at all.

          The trinkets,
          The baubles,
          The four-figure budget.
          Black Friday at Wal-Mart?
          Oh, hell no, fudge that!

          SWMBO draws the line at cutting cheques and dispensing cash,
          So for some on my list, I do something rash.
          I make my own presents for under the tree,
          Some wood, some stain, a beer...or three.
          I build boatshelves in two sizes,

          ... and small...

          ... "Big" sits in the corner, "Small" hangs on the wall.
           The boatshelves get compliments, some think they are grand,
           So I have decided to see if there is demand,
           Out here in the wide world of discerning consumers,
           From Generation Why? to "Get off My Damn Lawn!"  Boomers.
          For, you my blog readers, I'll make them to order,
          And ship anywhere, even south of the border.
          Your choice of finish and number of shelves,
           Built with my own two hands,
           No help from no steenkin' elves.

           "Enough with the rhyming!" you say, "and all that jive,"
          "How much do I gotta pay?"
          Just Canadian, Ninety-Five,
          Will get you size small,
          While only $140 will get you a tall.
           Plus the cost of shipping to wherever you reside,
          Or I'll deliver, no charge, if less than a two hour ride.
          Ontario followers order by Friday, and you will receive,
          Your big or small boatshelf,
           By Christmas Eve.

            Send me an email or comment if you'd like one for you,
            Hell, get one for mom, and your cousin, and for dad,
            Buy a few!
            It'll help keep me in beer and epoxy,
            And wood and all that,
            Other stuff I require,
            To build our new cat.



  1. Can you order them with a bottom and removable seats (and oarlocks)?

    "But honey, it's perfect for us, it's a bookshelf AND a dink!!"

    The kids will definitely love it. Not sure yet about the admiral.

  2. zed, if you want a dink, no problem. You cover the cost of materials and donate some gruntwork and we can build another "Chirp" in a couple of weekends.