Gear and Tool Review: Best Portable Bar Ever.

                          "I've got the bottle, bring me your cup."
                                                                -UB40




          




      So there you are, invited for vittles on a boat across the bay.  Being the good guest you are, you load a bottle or two and  some cheese and crackers in a bag , jump in your tender and get gone.  You arrive, climb aboard, and share out your lukewarm bottle, sweaty cheese and broken crackers.

     Impressive.

    Or say you want to go for a day sail with friends on your Siren.  You can load a cooler and a grocery bag, and wine glasses and ice and cutting board and cutlery and then you don't have room for your friends.

     Oooooh, dilemma- do we sail with our friends and leave the booze on the Dock, or take the booze and leave the friends?  It's an awkward choice.

     Here on the Dock, we've found the solution, thanks to the coolest cooler company ever, California Innovations .

 

    Meet Product #78124-90-09, or, as we know it here on the Dock, The Porta-Bar.  The Porta-Bar is a rigid soft-side cooler/picnic basket hybrid loaded with features.

  Open the front facing zippered "lid", and the first feature you notice is the thin plastic cutting board cleverly attached to the inside surface of the lid with stretchy elastic bands at each corner, making it both secure and removable for cleaning.

  Inside are three adjustable compartments.  The walls are easily removed and reinstalled thanks to the velcro tape fasteners.  Nestled inside these compartments are a tall bottle carrier,(Warm Bin) an insulated ice box/topload cooler (Chilly Bin), and a plastic bin with lid (Cool Bin).

   The Warm Bin will fit as many as three 40 oz bottles of rum, or two 2 litre soft drink bottles, or a vodka bottle and a Clamato juice bottle or  a bottle of wine, a couple of glasses and a baguette.   This baby is versatile!

  The Chilly Bin is cleverly designed.  Inside the soft bag is a plastic tub, perfect for holding ice cubes in addition to up to 12 soft drink cans.  To maximize cold life, the lid has a small velcro sealed hatch, perfect for quick soft drink extraction.

       Above the Chilly Bin is the Cool Bin, perfect for storing lemons, limes, cheese, sausage, sandwiches, all sorts of snacks.

    The handles are sturdy, the stitching reinforced and the fabric is easily cleaned.  The only quibble, and it is  minor, is the lack of a carrying strap.
     
      All in all, this is a pretty impressive package, especially at a retail price point south of $40. Like it?  Want one?   There is only one problem...

    According to California Innovations, Product #78124-90-09 is No Longer Available.  If enough demand is generated, they will consider putting it back into production.  Fire them an email, let 'em know you saw it here and you want one, bad.

Service@ca-innovations.com

Barring new ones rolling off the assembly line., my local Canadian Tire still has a few in stock.  If anyone wants one, drop me a line, and I'll set you up.

UPDATE:  I have sourced about a dozen of these, which I am happy to move on at $35 each plus shipping costs.


You know the drill.  Thanks for taking the time to check us out.  Please feel free to "Talk the Dock!" Link us, follow us, or just tell your friends.

The Crew

     "Turns out not where but who you're with that really matters..."
                                                                       -Dave Matthews Band




     You've met some of the regular rapscallions who make this dock a Dock with a capital "D."  Captains and Admirals and boats, however, require Crew.  Crew are necessary to a) praise and compliment  the exceptional nautical prowess of the Captains and Admirals and b) to accept the blame for any failure of prowess mentioned in a), and c) to provide booze and/or snacks.

     Yes, you back there, I see you have a question. What is the difference between Crew and Guest, you ask?   Very good question, very good, yes, thank you for asking (don't forget to tell your friends about the blog), er...

Aha!  Got it!

Crew is any guest who comes back again!

    Some may define Guest as one who is along for the ride, and Crew as one who participates in the ride, which is likely correct on larger vessels (ie "yachts") but Dock Six ain't home to Carnival Cruise Lines-  our boats barely have room for Crew, let alone deadweight Guests.  If you get offended by being asked to handle lines, gut fish, fetch beer, getting yelled at by the Skipper because you should be on the OTHER starboard side, dammit!  Then you are a Guest...
which brings us right back to the Dock Six definition, because Guests don't get invited back!

(See what I did there?)

     Anylabel,  sometimes Crew develop into Captains in their own right- rumour has it that Jack's Crew, Walt,   may have his own boat in the water soon. Jim ands Marianne's Crew moved onto their own boat and begat their own Crew, Jordan, who now Captains Saphira.  The graduation of Crew to Captain is bittersweet- it swells a boatmaster's heart to see someone else take the bait he has dangled and get hooked, yet there is sorrow in the fact that the search for a booze and snack provider begins anew.

     We have been fortunate to have some great Crew over the last few seasons.  Regulars are Dave and Steph.

   I'm pretty sure Steph took that shot herself,  hence the camera strap leading out of the photo.  I don't remember any attempted on-board strangulation.  That is what I will say in my deposition, as well.

    Dave is a mechanic by trade and a blacksmith by choice.  His great taste in beer and music coupled with his intelligence, willingness to get dirty and help out and his general good nature make me proud to call him not just Crew, but Friend.

     Steph is a bubbly French-Canadian writer who is the organizational side of their team. When Dave and I are noodling our way through a boat project it is Steph who cracks the whip and gets us back to reality.   For a woman who doesn't have a driver's license, she is also a hell of a helmsperson.  Her course is always arrow straight and her grin is ear-to-ear.

     A couple of times a season, my parents (yes, somebody WILL actually claim me as their spawn), Art and Liz, will join us for an evening on the boat, and a tour up the river.  Art loves to sail...

while Liz is nervous... for about half a bottle of wine.  Then she becomes a tour guide with ADHD, pointing out everydamnthing in a hilarious stream-of-consciousness monologue.

     "Mom, you don't have to monitor the depth- we're still tied to the dock."


     Sam and Abbey also join us occasionally during the summer, when they are not working or at school or summering at camp in Vermont or on Cape Cod (yes, the kids have a richer vacation life then we do.)  Healthy, vibrant, intelligent teens, they have developed their own lives and loves, and boating isn't at the top of their list, but they indulge us occasionally.  Note the strained grins of tolerance:

  
   Thanks, Sam and Ab.  We love you!

    Gavin's brother Garnet Crewed on both Persephone and Whiskeyjack last season.  He lost the anchor while aboard Persephone and lost the wind while Crewing on Whiskeyjack, but he has expressed an interest in coming back this season. Amazingly enough, he's also been invited back.

    Offering free booze can make anything, even losing an anchor, forgivable.

Hey, by the way, thanks for taking the time to read our adventures.  If you like what you see here in the Chronicles,  please spread the word!